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If You Have A Bad Relationship – Self Help Techniques May Not Work

Article by Relationship Counsellor

If you are in a bad relationship self help techniques may not work unless you seek the right type of advice. If you walk into any bookstore you will see shelves of books written on relationships. They will cover all topics and be written by men and women; some of whom will have very impressive credentials.

But how do you know they will work? How do you know that these same writers are themselves happily involved with someone? Quite frankly I believe you have to be in a great relationship before you can help other people with theirs. After all you don’t go to a nun for sex help do you? So why ask a single person how a partnership should work?

You need to use self help books like The Magic Of Making Up i.e. a book written by a real person, who is very happily married and writes to help real people just like you; with similar relationship problems. You want someone who cares whether you and your partner make it or not. Someone who will answer your emails should you wish to ask them a personal question because just sometimes the books don’t always cover everything.

Any relationship can be improved. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect one’ just as no human being is perfect. But you can have a great relationship with your existing partner. They are probably Mr or Ms right for you, just you have hit a couple of hurdles you need some help in getting over.

Self help marriage counseling may be an answer for those of us that don’t want to sit down with a stranger; to discuss the intimate details of our relationship. But unless you know where to start and what to look for, you probably aren’t going to achieve much more than another argument. The problem is that when you are involved in the situation you often can’t see things from the other person’s perspective. It is important that you learn as it takes two to tango as the old saying goes.

You will have to deal with painful issues and discussing these will take patience and practice. For example, sex may be causing an issue between you but it is often very difficult to discuss making love. Both of you may feel embarrassed or ashamed or annoyed that this subject is coming up again.

So before you dive into sorting out your relationship , make sure you have done some reading and thread carefully while you apply what you have learned. Take things slowly and don’t let your discussions turn into an argument. If things get heated, walk away and cool down. You cannot make the other person speak to you, so if they are not into a chat at that time, then leave it, and wait for a couple of days. Usually you will find that your partner is just as eager as you are to sort things out. Pick your moment before applying the relationship self help approach.

Career And Relationship: How To Have The Best Of Both Worlds

Article by My Relationship Tips

Centuries before, women are expected to just stay at home, manage the household and take care of the children. Some will probably do some charity works just to have something that will occupy their free time. There is however no question on what should come first. Relationships and family will always be first priority.

Times have changed.

Today, women —-and men at that —- choose between career and relationships. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, most will choose career. A materialistic society spawned people who are more into careers than personal relationships. With a fast-paced world and the competitiveness in the professional world, they feel that opportunities in their careers will only knock once. Because of this they sacrifice their personal relationships in favor of their careers.

Some people even set-up their lives by completely deleting the need for choice. These are the people who are confirmed workaholics, building their career at the expense of family and relationships. But should there be a choice? Should there be a contest between personal and professional life? Should one be sacrificed for the other?

Some individuals have actually been able to handle having a relationship and building a successful career path. All it seems to take is proper time management and honesty.

Below are some tips on how to have the best of both worlds.

Set boundaries.

In managing both a career and a relationship, one thing that you should do first is to set boundaries and establish some ground rules. Define early on in the relationship what you want and just how far you can sacrifice one at the expense of the other. Your partner will appreciate the honesty. This will also help clear things and will define just where the relationship starts. Prioritizing work does not mean that you do not care for your partner or you love them less the same way prioritizing your partner and your family does not mean that you are not committed to your career.

Anticipate problems with schedules

Emergency deadlines and unexpected appointments are not new to work especially if you are holding an important position. This can lead to canceled dates or forgotten anniversaries. To prevent disagreements and misunderstandings, it is important that you anticipate things and talk about these kinds of situations before they happen.

Make your partner understand that you cannot turn away from your responsibilities. Talking about things will minimize fights and misunderstandings. Still, even though you have already talked about it, when the situation arises, apologize still and try to make up after. One mistake that couples make is they become angry when their partner expect them to still explain things.

Set time for each other

You can accomplish anything if you just set your mind to it. Making a success of both your personal and professional life just needs proper time management. While work is also an important part of your life, do not make it the center of your existence. Allot time for your partner. One strategy that will work is to set a specific night in a week where you both can go out and just be together. This way, you will already have an idea what dates to avoid when you are setting appointments.

You should also take a week off from work once or twice a year and spend it with your partner. Go to a tropical island or beach. Travel abroad. This way, you can regain the closeness that you have outside the pressure of your professional life.

Quality time vs quantity

It is not actually the amount of time that you spend together but how you spend your time. You can spend the whole week together but if you spend them worrying and thinking about work, you might as well go to the office. Make sure that if you spend time together, you will only be thinking of non-work things. Make the most of every minute that you spend together. Connect with each other and do things that you will both enjoy.

Work is work, love is love

If you are having problems at work, make sure that you do not bring it to your relationship. Try to separate these two components of your life.

Posted in Relationship

Tags: Best Both Career Relationship Worlds

The Secret To Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner

Nobody ever said relationships were easy. And if they did, they were lying. A quick look at the shelves of any bookstore or library will tell you that people are looking for help in the relationship department. Seeking help in the form of a guide or book is a good idea, and a crucial step for many couples. However, evaluating your relationship with your partner before getting one is a good idea, too.

Why take the time to do this when a book has all the answers? Well, most books do not include a section on evaluation, and how can you know which steps to follow or how to follow them if you don’t know where your relationship is at the moment? The answer is, you can’t.

Because we as human beings are social creatures, it’s only natural that we want to get along with those we are close to, and to remain with them whenever possible. Developing a sense of where you stand as a couple fits right in with our most basic desires.

When it comes to evaluating your relationship with your partner you can do it two different ways. The first way is to do it on your own, without any input from your significant other. The second way is to do it together as a couple. Both methods have their own pros and cons. Neither one is better than the other, because what counts is the ultimate goal of knowing what’s going on.

Whichever method you choose, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple yes or no questions are okay, but they don’t really reveal all that much. The secret is to ask good, open-ended questions that will lead to more in-depth answers. Here are a few examples.

What do you want from the relationship?

What do you offer in the relationship?

What are your expectations of your partner?

What can you do to improve the relationship?

Where do you see the relationship going?

You’ll notice that you can ask the above questions, and questions like them, whether doing the evaluation on your own, or with your partner.

The questions and answers are only the first part of the process. They are designed to get you thinking and talking. However, it is absolutely critical that you answer them honestly. This is easier said then done, especially when you have a certain outcome in mind. In other words, your answers when evaluating your relationship with your partner will be much different if you are assuming a break up is imminent than if you assume you’ll be staying together.

It’s important to keep an open mind while going through this process. By doing so, you will get to the heart of the matter and make a better decision based on what you discover. The answer at which you arrive may not be what you expect, and it’s also not the final word. But it will help you to see things as they really are, and what steps you can take to have the best outcome possible.